my sorority sister had her baby and the pictures are making me feel oddly maternal

time to sleep

shima-renzou asked: I've seen this reading and I've also seen the Brittnay Matthews reading and I may have had read/recorded it and it may or may not be on this website oops sorry becca

WAIT YOU READ/RECORDED IT? omfg

but this pleases me cause you already got the reference sdkjfmbgh

shima-renzou asked: DERANGED SORORITY BECCA I'M GONNA CRY THIS IS A SERIOUS ASK

=D

coedmagazine:

so Alison Haislip decided to read the ‘deranged sorority girl’ letter, and well, i hope more girls do this, because this was oddly hot/awesome at the same time. maybe because it definitely reminded me of an ex-girlfriend, but that’s a whole other story.

Eddie this is for you

Kotonoha no Niwa - Raindrops

catsandcunts:

ahsadler:

kabutopz:

So last night I came across this table with 3 girls. They said they were out celebrating. When I asked what they were celebrating, one girl replied “my new hair color I’m now blonde”. She wasn’t blonde, her hair was golden brown. Anyway, so she orders a blue cheese bacon burger and wanted to add extra cheddar cheese. When her burger came out, there was no blue cheese. So being my job, I brought it back to the kitchen and brought out a new burger with blue cheese. After about 10 mins or so, she tells me she hates the blue cheese and wants it off. Of course I take the burger back and make her a new burger for the second time. Then seeing she eats half the burger and assuming shes done since she put trash on her plate, she complains she hated the burger all together. Then asks for a sundae with sparklers and candles since they wanted to make this a big celebration. After I was done serving them, correctly doing my job and being as helpful and has nice as I can, I drop off the check. After they leave, this is what I find. I understand she was upset about her burger, but I worked my ass off for this table and did so much for them. I even got them stuff discounted on the bill. She put “NAH SON” for tip and signed it “smooche da puss” instead of her signature. I can’t believe how disrespectful some people are now a days.

OK, dipshits, listen up: In the US, servers make all of $2 an hour, and the rest is from tips. They are taxed at the expectation of a 15% tip (which accounts for the hourly wage), and in most restaurants they have to give a certain percentage (say, 2.5%) to the busser, the host, and maybe the dishwasher. They have to pay tax and tip out even if the customer leaves no tip. When you leave less than 10%, the server worked your table for free. When you leave nothing at all, the server PAID to work your table. On this bill, that server would have had to pay almost $15 for the “privilege” of serving you.

IF YOUR SERVER DOES THEIR JOB, ON EVERYTHING THEY CAN CONTROL—WHICH DOES NOT INCLUDE THE KITCHEN FUCKING UP—AND YOU LEAVE NO TIP, YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

Also, if being a decent human being isn’t enough motivation for you, then remember this: If you tip less than 10 or more than 20%, you will be remembered and treated accordingly the next time you come in. If you leave no tip and you ever show your face in that restaurant again, they WILL fuck with your food, almost guaranteed.

This pisses me off so much wow

emmalooouise:

fishpun:

pocketwatchesandtea:

Guys.
It happened. 

what a time to be alive

impressive

(Source: youtube.com)

timeywimeyteapot:

have you ever thought about how weird sleeping is like we basically dress ourselves in special sleeping clothes and lay on special sleeping mats then spend the next few hours completely comatose all the while hallucinating vividly

rachelelm:

role model